My Thoughts on the German Cannibal

Another real news item posted below:

(Scroll down for my comments)

Dec. 11, 2003

Peta Send Tofu and Veggie Burgers to Cannibal

GERMANY - Germany's self-confessed cannibal killer Armin Meiwes has been sent a vegetarian cookbook and a Christmas hamper full of veggie burgers and tofu.

Animals rights group Peta (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is behind the stunt and says it would be a major coup if it could convert Meiwes to vegetarianism.

Meiwes is on trial for killing, dismembering and eating the flesh of another man.

He has admitted killing and eating his victim, but denies it was murder. Peta is hoping the mouth-watering recipes in the book and the hamper of vegetarian foods will persuade him to mend his ways.

The vegetarian starter kit was sent to Meiwes' prison cell in the town of Kassel, where the trial is taking place.

Peta's Juergen Faulmann said: "What this man did to a German computer expert is done to other creatures every day.

"The cruel scenario of slaughtering, cutting up, portioning, freezing and eating of body parts is the grim reality for more than 450 million sentient individuals that are killed in this country every year."

"People who eat meat feel disgusted by human flesh. Vegetarians feel disgusted by any sort of meat."

My Thoughts

Germany's self-confessed cannibal killer Armin Meiwes has been sent a vegetarian cookbook and a Christmas hamper full of veggie burgers and tofu.

Animals rights group Peta (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is behind the stunt and says it would be a major coup if it could convert Meiwes to vegetarianism.

So Peta thinks it would be a major coup if Meiwes would convert to vegetarianism?? Really? A major coup?? Is this really going to make people stop eating meat?
"Hey, look a homicidal German cannibal became a vegetarian! I always thought vegetarianism was a little weird, but damn it.. if it's good enough for homicidal German cannibals, it's good enough for me."

"So why did you become a vegetarian? Was it because of environmental or health reasons? Or was it because of concern over animal welfare?"
"No, none of those reasons. You see, I heard that this murderous German cannibal became a vegetarian and I make all my lifestyle choices based on those of murderous German cannibals. That's right, some people ask, 'What Would Jesus Do', I ask, 'What Would a Homicidal German Cannibal Do?'"

Meiwes is on trial for killing, dismembering and eating the flesh of another man.

He has admitted killing and eating his victim, but denies it was murder. Peta is hoping the mouth-watering recipes in the book and the hamper of vegetarian foods will persuade him to mend his ways.

The vegetarian starter kit was sent to Meiwes' prison cell in the town of Kassel,where the trial is taking place.

I like how he admits killing and eating his victim, but denies it was murder:

Policeman : "Did you kill the man?
Meiwes : "Yes, I confess, I killed him."
Policeman : "And then, did you eat him?"
Meiwes : "Yes, sir."
Policeman : "So you admit to the murder?"
Meiwes : "Hey, whoah there! Whoah! Whoah! Whoah! Hey! Hey! Hey! Slow down! Who said anything about murder? Look, its quite simple. I just killed him and ate him. Okay? I didn't MURDER him!!! I'm not some FREAKING ANIMAL!

As for Peta hoping mouthwatering vegetarian recipes will help a cannibal mend his ways, well…
I can't tell you how many times I've had to resort to killing and eating another human being just because I couldn't find a decent recipe for Grilled Tofu with Black Bean Sauce.

Important Questions

1. I'm sure Peta has done some good but… when exactly did Peta become dumber than the animals they try to protect?

2. How would a cannibal react to Peta's gift?
"This veggie burger is simply delicious. I didn't know tofu could taste so much like human flesh. Oh, if only it was shaped like a human forearm."

3. What the hell is a Christmas hamper?
I assume it's some sort of British/European thing.