Email Sent to a Hotel in Instanbul, Turkey

Dear Sir:
I have always been a interested in the people and culture of the country of Turkey and plan to visit again really soon!
I have always dreamed of seeing the magnificent Dolmabahçe Palace again.
I have a unique suggestion for you and your country. First let me tell you about myself. I am a vegan. Vegans are like vegetarians, but more irritating. Vegans do not eat anything that comes from animals. We don't eat butter, cheese, eggs, bull testicles or any other animal products.
During Thanksgiving (which is a big holiday here in the U.S.) instead of eating turkey like all the normal, rational people, we vegans eat something called "tofurkey." It is made of tofu and is shaped like and tastes like turkey. Or as much an amalgam of tofu, brown rice and miso can taste like turkey.
Now I bet you’re reading this letter and thinking “well, this is all very fascinating stuff, but what does it have to do with Turkey?”
Let me explain. I think I would be a wonderful thing if you would rename your great nation of Turkey to Tofurkey. I understand this is a big decision and you need time to think about it. Also, I know it will take time to change all your signs at the airport and travel guides etc. And adjectives using the name of Turkey would also have to be modified as in : Tofurkish Bath, Tofurkish Prison.etc.
This is not such an unusual request. A quick look shows many other countries have changed their names: Persia, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, and Kuwait were once known as Iran, Ceylon, Burma and Dorkistan respectively. Even your capital, Istanbul, was once Constantinople. I learned that from an old "They Might Be Giants" song. Did you know they also do the theme song for "Malcolm in the Middle"? Man, that Dewey is crazy!
I think renaming your country to Tofurkey would really boost tourism among us vegans and our less committed cousins, the vegetarians.
Also, the word "turkey" can be used as a derogatory remark as in :
"Man, you a jive turkey!"
The word "tofurkey" cannot be used thusly.
Please write back and let me know what you think of my idea. I look forward to hearing from you.
I would love to visit Istanbul,Turkey (or should I say Istanbul, Tofurkey) again.

Sincerely,

Williiam Shaw

Reponse from Hotel in Instanbul, Turkey

Dear Williiam Shaw,

Thanks for your suggestion about changing the name of our country. But I should remind you some basic facts about the principles of language.

First of all , the name "Turkey" is used in English whereas we do not use the same , since the language of our country is Turksih. We call our country "Türkiye" which means the land of Turks. And the word of Turk is centruis old word found in the old Chineese writings means "the strong-the powerfull".
We also name after our country as "Anadolu" with its English version "Anatolia" means "the land of mothers". The first civilisations of Anadolu were the female-dominant cultures like the Amozans , and the woman social characters always have taken a very important part in the history of our country ; such as the pagan goddess "Kybele" , the Greek-Roman goddess "Aphoridite" , the Christian saint "The Virgin Mary, or the Muslim holy mother "Sarikiz".

What a pity that the word of turkey matches with the English version word of our our country name "Turkey", but we never care about it since when we look our background we see a thousands years old nation whose history full of honour and prestige.

Finally , I recommend you to have a visit to Turkiye to meet our hot-blood people and feel the taste of what called Turkish hospitality. Myself lived in USA for a time and among with many other things, it was the thing felt my self -homesick- and teaching that Turkiye is the best in the world to live.

Warm Regards
Tahsin
A true Turk patriot.

My Response to the Hotel in Instanbul, Turkey

Hi again,
Thanks for all the info on Turkey.
Whoaa! That was a lot of info!
I mean a lot of info! No, seriously, a lot of info!
The name "Turkey" certainly has a rich and vibrant history. Don't you think the name "Tofurky" can also one day have the same kind of historical value? Also, don't forget how much vegan appeal it would have.
PS. Do you know if that Rod Stewart song "Young Turks" has anything to do with Turkey? If you don't know the song it's the one that goes:
"Young hearts be free tonight
something something is on your side.
Don't ever let them put you down,
something something share your point of view
Maggie I still believe (oops sorry wrong song!)"

Thanks Again

William