Email Sent to various Hotels

Dear Sir/Madam:

I would like to inquire about a reservation for myself and my imaginary friend, Pablo this summer. We will need a single room for about three weeks. Since Pablo is imaginary, he can just sleep on the floor of the room. Will there be any additional charges for an imaginary friend. Also, because Pablo is imaginary, you won't be able to see him, hear him or smell him. Well, okay, you might be able to smell him.

You will hardly know Pablo is around most of the time. When Pablo and I get into arguments, I have been known to raise my voice, but the casual observer won't hear a peep out of Pablo. This is the first time we have travelled together. Because Pablo is a figment of my imagination, he will not be using up any water, electricity or any other utilities. Please bear this in mind if you're planning on having an additional cost for Pablo.
I would like stay for two weeks. And Pablo would like to stay for an additional week.
Will there be an additional cost for Pablo? Would you have a problem with Pablo staying at your Hotel for a week by himself after I leave? Do you have any questions about Pablo you would like answered? Please don't be shy I will be happy to reply to any concerns you may have about him.

Sincerely

William Shaw

Reponse from Morin Hotel, Vietnam

Dear sir,

I am really eager to know more about what your so-called imaginary friend named Pablo is.
Can you you tell me what he looks like and whether he is a man or an animal.
Also, what makes you create such a very interesting figure like that ? Look forward to your elaborate explanation about so mysterious a character of yours.

Best regards,
HDT

My Response to Morin Hotel, Vietnam

Hello,
Thank you for inquiring about Pablo.
I'll try to answer your questions as best I can.

Obviously he is a man and not an animal. I explained in my first email that I have arguments with him. Whoever heard of having an argument with an animal? That sounds positively insane!!! Ha Ha Ha! You guys really crack me up!

Pablo stands about 5 foot 11 inches tall with dark hair and glasses. He also has a bit of a limp in his right leg (although I think he's faking it because I've seen it switch from the right leg to the left). I must warn you: Pablo is the master of disguise. Sometimes I can't even recognize him when he takes off his glasses and puts on his fake moustache. I'm like "Hey man, who are you? And how did you get into my house? Oh, and by the way have you seen my friend Pablo around anywhere?"

I didn't really create Pablo. He actually just showed up at my place one day. I remember that day well. I was suffering from the flu and drank half a bottle of NyQuil before going to sleep. Only I couldn't sleep. So I drank the other half bottle of NyQuil. Then, viola! Pablo appeared!

I have some questions for you:

1. Is it true that the unit of currency in Vietnam is the Dong? And if so, why?
2. Pablo is very excited to practise his Vietnamese (although he's not very fluent). Can one get by with just English.
3. I read on your website about the Perfume River. Why is it called the Perfume River? Most rivers I'm acquainted with smell nothing like perfume.

Please feel free to ask any further questions about Pablo.

Thank You

William