Greencats - Prank Emails

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Original Email sent to various Danish Government Agencies:
Dear Sir,
Denmark has always been a highlight of my many trips to Europe.
I was very impressed by the Flaskeskibssamlingen, enjoyed taking the Øresundsforbindelsen and had great fun during the Århus Festival. The gravad laks I had for lunch in Næstved was out of this world!
I have learned a great deal about your people and your culture.
That's why I was very surprised to hear the news you're planning to change the National Anthem of Denmark. I have often thought "DER ER ET YNDIGT LAND" represents all that is magnificent about your great Scandinavian nation. I love its references to Freya's Hall and the Baltic Strand.
My surprise turned into shock when I found out the new National Anthem for Denmark will be "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot. Why would you choose such an unusual song? Also, the subject matter of "Baby Got Back" is posteriors. What connection does this have to the Danish people?
"Baby Got Back" doesn't even mention Freya's Hall!
Well, I guess the decision is final, but let me just say I am one hombre who thinks "DER ER ET YNDIGT LAND" is a more suitable anthem for Denmark than "Baby Got Back."
Was there a valid reason for this decision?
By the way I am the author of the soon to be published horror novel, "Dopey Sunset." Would you like me to send you a free copy?

Sincerely,
William Shaw

Response from The Danish Tourist Board:
As far as we know we will not change the National Anthem of Denmark.

Kind regards,
Ann-Marie L. Thor
("As far as we know?" So you're saying there is a chance that the people of Denmark will be standing up at baseball games (or whatever sporting events they have over there) for the playing of "Baby Got Back")

Response from Royal Danish Embassy (Washington D.C.):
Dear William,

To the best of our knowledge here at the Danish Embassy there are no plans whatsoever to change the Danish national anthem. I trust this is good news to you!

Sincerely,

Helene A. Southern

Information Officer

Royal Danish Embassy
3200 Whitehaven Street, NW
Washington, D.C. 20008

("To the best of our knowledge?" Nobody seems to be 100% sure about this issue.
Also, nobody seems to be interested in a free copy of "Dopey Sunset")

Response from Royal Danish Consulate General (New York):
Dear William Shaw,
Thank you for your e-mail. The Danish Consulate General is glad to hear that you have enjoyed your time in Denmark. If you are interested in more extensive information on Denmark we kindly refer you to the following web sites:

www.denmark.org
This is the official website of the Danish Consulate General. On this website you will find information about consular services, culture, education, public relations, Danish organizations in the USA, commercial services and a calendar of Danish cultural events in the greater New York area.
www.visitdenmark.com
This is the official tourism website to Denmark. It includes information on hotels, museums, restaurants and more.
www.workindenmark.dk
This website provides information on various aspects of living and working in Denmark. It includes topics such as residence, work, taxation, transport, housing, family, education, health, culture, and leisure.
www.denmark.dk
This is the official Danish website developed by the Danish government. The website provides a wide range of topics ranging from topics such as science and research, studying in Denmark, living and working in Denmark, Danish news, the Danish state and cultural Denmark. Furthermore, it includes several guides. There is a guide about how to search for your Danish ancestors as well as a guide to Denmark designed for kids.

Regarding your question on the National Anthem the Danish Consulate General kindly informs you, that we are not aware of any decision to change the National Anthem of Denmark, "Der er et yndigt land".

Sincerely,

Mai-Britt Noe
Assistant

Royal Danish Consulate General
One Dag Hammerskjold Plaza
885 Second Avenue, 18th Floor
New York, NY 10017-2201

("We are not aware of any decision..."
Now this is starting to bother me a little bit. Why is everyone in Denmark so vague on this subject. Why can't anyone state unequivacally "NO, YOU IDIOT, DENMARK WILL NOT BE CHANGING THEIR NATIONAL ANTHEM TO A SONG THAT CONTAINS LYRICS LIKE:
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung"
And once again no interest in a free copy of "Dopey Sunset")

The Danish National Anthem

DER ER ET YNDIGT LAND
Der er et yndigt land,
Det star med brede bøge,
Naer salten østerstrand,
Naer salten østerstrand.
Det bugter sig i bakke, dal,
Det hedder gamle Danmark,
Og det er Frejas sal, og det er Frejas sal.

Der sad i fordums tid
De harnisk klædte kæmper,
Udhvilede fra strid;
Udhvilede fra strid;
Så drog de frem til fjenders men,
Nu hvile deres bene
Bag højens bautasten,
Bag højens bautasten.

Det land endnu er skønt,
Thi blå sig søen bælter,
Og løvet står så grønt;
Og løvet står så grønt;
Og ædle kvinder, skønne mø'r
Og mænd og raske svende
Bebo de danskes øer,
Bebo de danskes øer.

Translation
THERE IS A LOVELY LAND

There is a lovely land
That proudly spreads her beeches
Beside the Baltic strand,
Beside the Baltic strand.
A land that curves in hill and dale,
That men have named Old Denmark,
And this is Freya's hall, and this is Freya's hall.

There sat that earlier day
The heroes in their harness
And rested from the fray;
And rested from the fray;
Then forth they went, the foe they downed,
But now their bones are resting
'Neath bauta-stone and mound,
'Neath bauta-stone and mound.

And still that land is fair,
So blue the seas that belt her,
So green the woodland there;
So green the woodland there;
And noble women, comely girls
And men and lads of mettle
Dwell in the Danish isles,
Dwell in the Danish isles.

Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot

Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt
It is so big
She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
Who understands those rap guys
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute, ok?
I mean her butt
It's just so big
I can't believe it's so round
It's just out there
I mean, it's gross
Look, she's just so black

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Me so horny
Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz
Well use me, use me cuz you ain't that average groupy

I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She sweat, wet, got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines
saying flat butt's the only thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back, so

Fellas (yeah), fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back

(LA face with Oakland booty)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And ugh, double ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna f$%&
Til the break of dawn
Baby, I got it goin on
A lot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah)
If you wanna role in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back

(LA face with the Oakland booty)

Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
and tell you that the butt need to go
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it Miss Thang
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-mixalot and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]

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