Greencats - Prank Emails

greencats.com

Original Email sent to various Hotels:
Dear Sirs,
I am planning on visiting your country early next year. I always travel with a chimpanzee. Her name is Bongo. Now, I understand you have a strict "No Pets" policy. I don't believe this policy will apply to us because Bongo is not technically a pet. She is my life partner. And we have the papers (from the State of Nevada) to prove it.
Speaking of pets, Bongo does have a pet of her own: a gerbil named "Richard Gere." The gerbil will not make the trip because of your "No Pets" policy.
By the way, I will be bringing along a large cardboard box clearly marked "FECES." Please do not be alarmed. This box does not contain real feces, but fake dog poop that Bongo and I use for our traveling comedy act.
I will most probably be coming for a week in early February. I plan to attend the Folk Festival where my favorite band, "The Frivolous Lawsuits," will be performing. Have you ever seen them in concert? They are great!
Do you have any vacancies in early to mid February?
Also is it possible to get a no smoking rooms as both Bongo and I hate this filthy habit?
Sincerely,
Willam "Buzz" Shaw

Response from Grand Hyatt Berlin, Germany:
Dear Mr. Shaw,

thank you for your interest in Grand Hyatt Berlin. Unfortunately, we can not offer you accommodation for your chimpanzee. But we would be happy to assist you in looking for an alternative place for her to stay, if you decide to make a reservation at Grand Hyatt Berlin for yourself. In this case, I could offer you e.g. a deluxe single room at a rate of EUR 235,00 incl. breakfast.

Please let me know, if I can be of any further assistance to you.

With kind regards,

Martina Lenkenhoff
Front Office Manager

Grand Hyatt Berlin
(But how can I eat breakfast without my monkey?)

Response from Mount Grace Country House & Spa, Johannesburg, South Africa:
Dear Mr Shaw
Unfortunately we will not be able to accommodate you as per your request below. Our "No Pets Policy" is very strict

Should you need any other information please do not hesitate to contact us

If you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Kind regards
Annette Holtmann
Central Reservations Manager

Response from Fosshotel, Reykjavik, Iceland:
Dear Mr Shaw,

Thank you for your email, I am happy to hear that you want to stay at our hotels.
I am sorry but we do not allow chimpanzee“s at our hotels at all. And actually there would be another problem for you if you“d like to bring the chimpanzee along, because the rules for bringing animals into the country are very stricht so I am almost sure that you are not even allowed to take the chimpanzee into the country.

Please take a closer look at our properties and different offers at our homepage www.fosshotel.is. There you also find detailed information about our different self driving packages "On the Road".
I am looking forward to your booking,

Kęrar kvešjur / Best regards
Mrs. Erla Halldórsdóttir
Sales Representative
FOSSHOTEL
Skipholt 50 C
105 Reykjavik /Iceland
(Self Driving Packages? But my chimp is my driver!)

Response from The Otarunai Backpackers' Hostel Morinoki, Hokkaido, Japan:
Dear Mr. Willam,
Thank you for your email.
I am sorry.
I am very interested about Bongo with you, but You cannot stay at our hostel. Because, all of our hostel are sharing a rooms, and there is no personal room, and there are two dogs in a hostel.
I am so sorry.

I'm sorry, my English is not very well.
We are looking forward to meeting you.

Sincerely,
Masa Harada. Mori no Ki

Continued ==>

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